Look Up...

Look Up...

Thoughts from Westminster Abbey

Over a thousand years...thats how old the stones beneath my feet are. The cool marble under my fingertips. The stained glass above my head. Beams of light from the outside bring the figures in the colored glass to life. The images glow and cast warmth on the glistening gold and shadows below.

Westminster Abbey.

We visited there today. A holy place to the English Monarchy and a sacred and historic experience. To stand on the ground where so many important events have taken place, famous and brilliant people have stood...it causes one to really look at your own size.

My conclusion? We are small. In the scheme of history. How can the human mind, a mind that only lives 80 maybe 90 years...even begin to fathom something standing for over a thousand years? It can't. 

I have been to many ancient and important places around the world. I have stood in the underground chambers of the The Roman Colosseum. Where the slaves and animals were housed before being turned out to fight to their deaths. I have walked up the circling stairs to the top of the Tower of Pisa to gaze out on the Italian landscape. I have walked the rooftops of Il Duomo Di Firenze and gazed out over Florence. The dome casts its mighty shadow over the nearby museum housing The David statue.

All of these and many more have I seen, touched, felt in my heart. I know that each of them are works of unmatched value and history. Hundreds sometimes over a thousand years of it. But I still find it hard to imagine the hands that built these structures. The sweat that dripped down their noses and splashed onto the forming floors and columns as they labored all their lives on something some of them never saw completed. 

I think it is because our lives are a mere whisper in the grand scheme of things. A "blip" on the radar of time. A mere 80-90 years (if we are blessed) and then we are gone. Our finite minds cannot hold onto that much time. Put in perspective that much history. 

Westminster Abbey contains the remains of people such as Sir Isaac Newton, Alfred Lord Tennyson and Charles Dickens. Queens and Kings have marched there, been crowned in those same corridors. The music that has echoed off of those walls over the centuries...Oh my heart wishes I could hear it.

As much as we try, our humanity cannot hold onto the length of perspective it takes to truly and fully understand that much time. The stones under my fingertips...Oh of they could talk. The stories they would tell.

We cannot grasp it but we serve a God who can. Not only can He grasp it, but He is bigger then it. Time means nothing to him. Th course of history...He has seen every chapter. Yet He cares about OUR chapter...it blows my mind. How can a God be so big as to know and understand the full coarse of history yet be involved enough to know the cares on my heart? Yet somehow...He does. I find that terribly comforting. Knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who has it all handled. I dont have to figure out how He does it. its enough for me...that He does. It would be futile for me to try. A childlike attempt to understand something that my brain cannot contain. 

We went to Evensong at the Abbey tonight. Spent time hearing the words of God spoken and sung. Gods people are everywhere. I do not believe He is contained in one denomination. The way to Him is through a relationship with His son Jesus Christ. People of faith and devotion can be found in many many places. 

As we were quietly ushered into the Abbey and took our place in the rows of chairs, the air felt soft, quiet, sacred. The architecture was elaborate, ornate, breathtaking. While the view at eye-level was filled with intricate architecture, broad columns, statues, and golden emblems, I found my eyes being continuously drawn up. The ceiling was far far above our heads and the eye was pulled upwards. It is a work of the lines and how everything meets with an upward focus. Its like you can't help but tip your head back and just whisper...'Wow." Even though the gold of the incredible organ gleamed, the figures of the statues beckoned below...the eye was always pulled upward. The ceiling was ever so high above us. An intricate interweaving of stone and color. Every detail designed to draw your eyes higher and higher.

The columns broad, the archways formidable, the curves alluring. I looked around and saw that a great many of the others around me also had their heads tipped back looking up. I asked myself "Why?" It wasn't like there were boring or plain things at eye level. It wasn't as if there was a sign at the door that said, "Hey guys, be sure to look up and check out the ceiling."

No, in fact the eye level view was rather intricate and complicated in pattern and display. It was then I realized something. We are supposed to look up. When the world seems complicated and intricate...look up. When nothing makes sense at eye level...look up. Look up for help, for wisdom, for comfort, for peace. It was the psalmist David who wrote,

"I will lift my eyes, the the hills and their creator. Who made all heaven and earth. For He watches me, never sleeps no never slumbers, He is ever over me."

We need to lift our eyes. Lift them up. Out of the mire and fear and earthliness of our lives. Lift them up to look for Him.

The first note of the choir lifted and soared up to the the rooftop. The harmony filled me. It echoed and resounded until it filled every corner of the huge cathedral. I felt a tear escape my eyes and roll down my cheek. I felt the Mightiness of God. His power, His strength, His justice, His HUGENESS. He felt as alive and strong as the statement made by the arches and beams above me. 

Too often I focus only on how "small" God can get. What I mean is, how personal He is, how much He is my friend. All of those attributes are true. I love Him for it. He is the Awesome God of the world yet He fits into my heart...

But sometimes, every once in awhile it is good to remember His mightiness too. His powerful hand that parted the Red Sea. His voice that with a whisper calmed a raging storm. His energy that cannot be harnessed or dampened. He is a big and mighty God. And He is a good God. We have nothing to fear in Him.

Its kinda like as a kid you feel good knowing that you always have your mama or daddy who can come in a take care of business if
 bad things happened? He is our parent and He has that kind of power and so much more.

As we sit here staring down the evil of DIPG it is good for me to be reminded Who is the boss. Who created us. Who will ultimately save us all. He is bigger then DIPG. The horriblest of pediatric cancer with a 0% survival rate. Those words mean nothing to Him. He is bigger then DIPG. He is bigger then our pain, our fear, our rage, our exhaustion.

The service was meant for us. They read out of the Bible and every verse was about God's protection, His plan, His provision for our lives. They read Joshua 1:9, Team Julianna's verse,

“I have commanded you, ‘Be strong and courageous! Don’t tremble or be terrified, because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

I won't even pretend to try to wager what God's plan is for our Julianna. I pray it is healing and life. But as we stood in that place of a thousand years of history, our eyes were drawn heavenward and our hearts were filled with music. I walked out knowing this. God is here. He is Loving, He is tender and compassionate and HE IS BIG!

My Hero